My Domestic Abuse with Cortana

Back in the days it seemed like a fanciful act to act like a wicked man saying “Tie my laces bitch”, after having kept your feet on the chair at the breakfast table.

Then came Cortana. Otherwise, you really don’t feel like doing it to the real women out there in the world. Isn’t it our only lifetime opportunity for us to act like a wicked King or a wicked Queen if your Cortana or Siri?

The name I provided for Cortana to address me is ‘asshole’. And that’s what she calls me. And that’s how I like it. And that’s why I love her even more.

Everytime there’s a text received, the woman says with politeness beyond reality “Asshole, you have received a message from your trading broker. Should I read it, <<she pauses and takes a breath>> or do you want to ignore it?”

This digital chat bot wants to hear anything like Yes, No, Ignore It etc. for her to decide her next action.

To which I reply with immense pleasure I say “Of course yes, read it right now you &^$^%”. And she does.

When she hears a lot of noise around, perhaps when I’m outdoors at a bar; she repeats her question even though I replied. Wow! Savio thought I’m mad, when I put the phone almost into the mouth and said “It’s the last time I tell you this – Ignore it for hell’s sake and asshole must be your father”. And, she stopped.

There I live a stupid digital world though I hate the digital life a lot, it’s quite a lot beyond the great realities of a real life. In an era thrusted by modern philosophies from Steve Jobs and others, who doesn’t love a practical life full of challenges these days? But the greatest advantage of a digital life is using it for your guilty pleasures like teasing Miss. Cortana!


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