What The World Taught Me (1st Half, 2016)

Here’s the one for this blog’s immediate counterpart:

https://whatsupjohnny.wordpress.com/2015/06/13/what-the-world-taught-me-1st-half-2015/

There has been less of activity in 2016’s first half. From raging nationalism in India, saving cows and killing humans instead – to those revenge-seekers from our very own social circles; there’s been more spice than activities. The worst one being the method used to understand us humans. Our online activities are used to judge us, brand us, tag us and socially portray us as one of their perceptions which unfortunately took birth in the dungeons of bitterness. And without even talking with us, they end up understanding us more than what they would understand through meeting / talking to us. Nothing else but pity suits such situations.

Instead of going with the regular tabular format like that of the counterpart-blog, let’s take a change here and make it look less jargon-ed.

Situations (Some recurring from 2015):

They: You ***
Me: Maybe I did.. I still do.. I like to find out people who waste my time. I can’t directly ask you if you’re wasting my time, because neither you nor me is a brainless-barbie-doll. Well do check out if they need a professor at the National Poultry Farm to Breed Pigs.

They: You ***
Me: Maybe, but I don’t think that it’s a divine demand. Thanks for the concern. By the way, they need a teacher at Papal Institute for Advanced Gossipping (irony lol). Get hired, get paid for your hobby!

They: You ***
Me: Well. People speak of real events that happened in reality, and if it sounds like what you say then go back to the Business School of Pious Snakes (irony lol).

They: You ***
Me: Alright you Prophets, why don’t you give us a lift to Heaven? Also get yourself an internship from the Buckingham Palace School For Slum Thoughts (irony lol).

They: You ***
Me: Well, if the world knew one more bastard like you we’d be into the 3rd World War already. No, perhaps the 1st Universe War including countries from other galaxies. Please fuck off from the first left (giving directions to maintain the kindness). Buzz me when you reach hell safely, I care for you. Do get your whole family admitted to Romeo-Juliet College For Harvesting Mutual Hatred (irony lol).

They: You ***
Me: No more of it. Do get admitted to the School of Guiltless Foxes For Straightforward Snakes (irony lol).

They: You ***
Me: Now everything I spoke in the past is getting categorized into nonsense-like areas. Moreover, I can simply no longer talk because they do broadly fit into one of those categories. Including something good like “You dont even know, I am so decent today just because of you. It was you who taught … ” blah blah. They’d pay in billions for delivering a 1-minute speech at the Annual Symposium of Nothing Much.

They: You ***
Me: I have what it takes to do it upfront. I don’t covertly do things behind your backs. My online activities maybe in scores, I am clueless what got picked. Hats off to you and pants off to none. Try meeting people in person to really understand them, instead of doing it online! Time spent in person is more real than online-time-spent-in-person.

They: You ***
Me: Lol, yeah you’re right. But, fuck off.

They: You ***
Me: Hahahah that is funnier than Jim Carrey. I would love to thank you when it is Thanksgiving Day this year, only if I did not want to tell you to get lost.

They: You ***
Me: True, they all tell me. I know it. Well, I think you should be sent for a threesome with 2 tigers. At the very least, twosome with King Kong II.

So there goes what I was told to learn in the 1st half of 2016.

PS: The word ‘They’ used in the blog is fictional and can be mysteriously rematerialized. Requesting readers from the present and future to not personally evaluate the blog on real-life situations. If you do it, then it would kill the purpose of publishing funny blogs. Thanks, and hopefully there’d be one for the 2nd half of 2016 as well! 🙂 ❤

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One Comment Add yours

  1. Johnson John says:

    Reblogged this on Sailors Off The Norm and commented:
    One of my funniest blogs in 2016.. **yawn**

    Like

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