Every time I tell my parents that I like a girl, there’s a good interview. The second interview I faced, was in 2007. I met a Texan-Mallu girl during a Students Exchange Program who had travelled to our Church in Pune. After she went back, we started chatting online. She came home after her classes and we chatted for hours together. Thankfully I worked nights, and was able to kill more time those days. We exchanged pics of our families and stuff seemed to be happening. But things cooled off due to our busy schedules and the long-distance thingy faded our times. My parents interviewed me when I told them I want to marry this medico.
The 1st interview was about a girl I met at a Youth Conference at Kerala in 2002. She was hell bent on marrying a priest and I did not want to become one. And like a dumbfuck I told my parents about her at a premature time. And time got wasted, nothing ever happened. Both of these got married later, something I unintentionally got to know through Internet.
The 3rd one was about a Mumbai Goan girl, and the first intimate relationship. I was in late 2008 and things seemed to be proceeding well, until I got to know she enquired about me behind my back though she had upfront opportunities to directly ask me. I had to say goodbye, not before the interview I faced at home. Common questions like “Has her parents agreed” etc.
The 4th girl was a long time friend of mine. We dated seriously, discussed plans & things seemed to be moving. Until she gave up, to what seemed to be excessive desires. I wasn’t surprised, because she once answered a call from her ex-boyfriend during the peak of a steamy session which did ring the alarm in me. Parents interviewed me as usual, when I showed them her pics and shared all details. Thankfully it didn’t work out. Who wants to be a living dildo?
The 5th interview, is an anticipated one. And since it’s a different one from the other 4, I thought of sharing the excerpts even before it happens. It is about a girl I like and love, as a secret admirer. She may have slight hints, but things are not formally known to her. And since we’re from different backgrounds, the interview is expected to be spicy.
The anticipated interview given below is bound to follow soon after I win her love. Not necessarily from my parents, but I expect these questions from my family, friends and extended families as well.
Anticipatory Enquiry (If I told my parents / friends / families TODAY that I like a girl and we’re from different religions):
Q1 would be the very usual dowry related ones, though in ancient times, dower (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dower) was something given by the husband to the wife directly. However in India we have Angry Brides voicing strongly against any cent given as a gift to the groom / his family due to excessive exploitations.
Q1: If you go for an arranged marriage, it could fetch you good money.
Me: It’s not just me. The girl I like could find a millionaire, not just today but even after 20 years. If she marries a millionaire today, she could find a billionaire later. I am clueless whether she would marry me, but I do wish to.
Q2: So you didn’t you tell her that you want to marry her?
Q3: What if she does not want to marry you?
Me: I am clueless, though I feel she would allow our marriage. Perhaps I might have to find someone else otherwise (though it won’t be immediately easy for me, given how much I like her).
Q4: Her name could be Elizabeth (guessed name) after marriage..
Me: Who decides her name? I have friends from other religions who might be my friends forever. Did you tell them to convert, if they want to be my friend forever? She knows everything about all religions, if she wants to convert she will. If she doesn’t want to, then the chapter of religion is closed. We’d continue further the same way as we continued till date as friends. If she joins our religion willingly, she’s welcome and I’d be glad. If she doesn’t, I’d still be glad. She has her own identity / credentials already well-established in the society just like you and I.
Q5: All marriages of this sort hasn’t worked out. Sounds full of challenges.
Me: Thanks for your blessings, you didn’t create this world. I have your God on my side, as He has always been.
Q6: So if she is not joining our religion, wedding at a Church is impossible.
Me: Now what should I do? We have the courts. And since you and I know priests who are utmost corrupt and still conducting marriages, I think our parents blessing our marriage is more than enough. Because they have lived better lives than the priests. So spiritually and religiously, our marriage is blessed by people who are better than the so called authorized priests. God would love to accept it more than a corrupt priest blessing us.
Q7: We were just seeing how firmly you would stand with your decisions if somebody else from outside tries to put you down. We wanted to see if you’re well-planned and serious. This is not the first time you’re telling us that you like a girl.
Me: I know, people can run a check on how serious I am. But I have my answers ready for almost all of their stupid questions they might ask. And yes, I hope this is the last interview I am facing. I can assure you that I made 4 mistakes and that’s why you had to interview me 4 times before. And also, I would stay at a different place with her from day one. Certainly not here at this house. Not because I don’t like this house, or that I hate you.
Q8: When do we get to meet her?
Me: Let’s see.. Maybe at some place where both families could meet for a lunch or dinner.
Though my cousins boast about knowing the girl already, and my sister has strong hints on who she is; I have kept them all confused till date by saying weird things like “She used to work in my company”, “She’s not the one you think” etc. Some of these questions have been thrown at me already, when my parents suspected that I am in a relationship with this girl. Or maybe they randomly threw questions at me to to find out if I am dating someone. Can’t blame them, because it so happened recently that her pic came up on my laptop screen (unexpectedly) while showing a different photo-album to my family. She was wearing a white pajama that day with black prints on it, one that I liked a lot on her (not more than the smile she casted). God Be With All and With Thee!